2019…

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Today is a bright and cold Sunday in March. I woke up feeling reflective on my life and the recent changes and choices I’ve made. It’s almost been a year since I left Minnesota and returned to Oregon. I haven’t written a blog in all of that time. I started several posts but never finished any of them.

This past year has been full of subtle changes and a few much bigger choices. My job is going great. I truly enjoy the team I get to work with and that feels perfectly in alignment with who I am and how I want to create my life. My home is also very cozy and feels more and more like a place of retreat and grounding. I even got a new car to move me forward in my life with greater ease. I love it; I’ve named her Ruby.

Most of you who know me know I live by a few guiding principles:

  1. Choose Joy: If it doesn’t bring you joy then the answer is No. Find the joy!
  2. Love is the Only Response: Most people say love is the only answer. I say it’s the only response. So often we react vs respond. Let’s change that. Be the Love!
  3. Do it for Pleasure: This is a new one for me. Pleasure is our human right and most of us deny ourselves of pleasure. Feel Pleasure!

For most of my adult life, I spent so much time understanding and exploring the unseen world. I traveled the world to learn from elders and healers so I could assist others in their healing and find their joy. To live an authentic life. I loved that part of me and it gave me great passion and purpose.

Over the last few years, things started to shift. As you know I returned to Minnesota and spent an intensive time revisiting my younger selves and really asking the hard questions about why and how I make my decision as an adult. (more on all of that later) The journey was challenging but the insights and the amount of inner peace and self-love I discovered are priceless.

I also spent at least a year in the query around self-worth, value, and sex. How are they related? Who and what determines worth vs value? I talked to so many and had my own experiences that helped me figure out some stuff that has worked for me. I’ve written a few articles on it and will share that in future posts.

All of this combined with a few very awakening experiences around my body, pleasure, and desire have created awareness around honoring my body and living my life with more awareness and love around listening to my body’s needs around food, sleep, stress, and touch. I have found an inner truth around expressing myself. I will no longer deny or shy away from physical challenges, body sensations, and physical strength.

So my journey has begun and I feel empowered by sharing this with you all. It started a few months after I moved back to Oregon. I knew it was time to shift my awareness from energy to physical. So my mental awareness became the first step. I hired a counselor in body/health awareness. I then knew more movement was going to be required but I felt stuck as I hate our societies focus on exercise and the ‘ideal’ body.

I found some really great role models around healthy body image. I’ve spent years on body acceptance. So picking a trainer, going to the gym and figuring out what will work for me to keep me feeling excited and inspired has been a process. After a few months of trying a few things, I’ve figured out a routine that feels really good to me and my body has been waking up. The muscles are moving, blood is flowing, and my body feels more grounded maybe even a little stronger.

Some may wonder what the routine is so I’m happy to share it as it might inspire you and it’s good accountability for me (thank you!)
Pilates on the Reformer – 1x week
Gym workout (cardio + weights) – 2x week
Nature (walk or hike) – 1x week

There is a bigger vision and a much bigger goal which I’ll be sharing in the next few months. This is my kick-off blog post for this new journey. I’m excited to continue to share it with you. I’m not on a specific diet nor am I trying to be the perfect size. I’m simply listening to my body and working through the bullshit that I’ve picked up along the way. I won’t compare or compete but I will accept support and suggestions. And I’m grateful to the friends and family have offered their support.