Honest Communication takes Courage…


The courage to admit what you feel when you feel it.
The courage to say what needs to be said for the benefit of all involved.
The courage to choose your words that capture your heart’s truth.
The courage to say no and the ability to hold the line.
The courage to have boundaries and share them with others.
The courage to be vulnerable and allow yourself to been seen and felt by another.
The courage to trust yourself.
The courage to let emotion lead and the space to feel it all.
The courage to not look to another for validation or approval.
The courage to be yourself because you know you deserve it.
The courage to risk loss and rejection.
The courage to live with freedom of expression.
The courage to be authentic.

I’ve been reflecting on why I haven’t always been willing to be honest in my communications.  I’m a recovering people-pleaser.  I used to please people and even anticipate their perceived needs so that I would be loved, accepted, wanted, included, special, and liked. I did all of that because I grew up with conditional love.  If (enter something) then (enter reward). I believe my parents did the very best they could with what they knew and how they were conditioned.  I don’t blame them or anyone actually.  We all are the results of our conditioning.  Our personal responsibility is the key to releasing the blame and allowing the layers of conditioning to be released. 

I’ve been unraveling my conditioning and opening up to the possibilities that are now available to me. The journey of body health and body care is full of potholes and speed-bumps yet the level of satisfaction and pleasure I am experiencing is beyond any knowing I had going into this journey.  I’m actively looking at how the body functions and my long-time belief that as a human we are uniquely designed/created for pleasure.  

Here’s the big change in the concept and experience of pleasure.  Pleasure is YOUR gift to yourself! The old patterns of the patriarchy would want us to believe that it’s better to give pleasure to another.  That message then turns internal and the end result is a belief that we don’t deserve pleasure for ourselves but only if we are pleasuring another.  NOT TRUE!

Until we explore our bodies we won’t know what pleasure is or what it truly feels like. There are several erogenous areas on the body. {And let me be clear, pleasure isn’t always sexual, in most cases it’s not.  Pleasure is about slowing down, connecting with our senses, enjoying the moment, fully experiencing the sensations and letting go of our fears.} And there are different ways to activate those areas for each individual.  It’s your responsibility to figure out what works for you. Areas that most people think of are the lips, ears, and sexual organs.  A few others to explore are the stomach, the small of the back, feet, hands, and neck.  And then play with intensity of touch…light as a feather or strong deep movements. Explore. Enjoy!

It’s important to know that you may want or need some help exploring.  Give yourself that gift. Permission granted! There are so many fears and old beliefs that will try to stop you from breaking the ‘program’ around pleasure and our bodies.  I’ve been blessed to have some incredible teachers and counselors. I’m not sure what will be your moment of awakening and desire but I encourage you to gently ask the questions and follow the nudges.

Here are a few resources that may support you (all are good for both men and women):
Layla Martin: https://www.layla-martin.com/laylahome/
Skydancing Tantra: https://www.skydancingtantra.org
Jennifer Posada:  https://www.jenniferposada.com
Cam Fraser: http://www.kamawellnessperth.com
Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com

And although I am still in my exploration phase, I welcome questions so feel free to contact me and we’ll meet up for coffee and talk.  I’m so passionate about this topic and am curious where it will lead me.