I don’t have much to say this week. So much has happened in our world and women are coming together as we rise to a place of truth, love, and compassion. We no longer are silent. We can share our stories. We can tell the truth. We can simply say “metoo” and it’s known.
The men have started their process. Some are offering their love and support. Some are telling their truth. Some are still in fear. And there is so much more to be unearthed.
As we all process the now acknowledged “elephant” in the room, how will we choose? What will we do? How will we unite? How will we heal?
Our world does not need “us vs. them” or a “female vs male” reality. Our world needs unity. Our world wants to thrive. Our world wants to live in harmony.
So I ask that we all go within – find our pain, heal our wounds – so we can create change. It’s time to take responsibility for what we’ve all created. There’s no room for shaming. No room for blaming. Find the love. Together, we can create a world that reflects LOVE vs fear. Only Together!
I just wanted to pass this along. It captures words I could not find. Thanks Amy Jo Goddard!! (check her out!) – added 10/23/17
Many of us have been reeling this week with the pervasive #MeToo stories and how painful this is. It needs to surface. It needs to be exposed. AND, reading all the stories can re-traumatize us so I hope you are taking care of yourself and setting the boundaries you need with social media. This is a time to be with people we love and have real conversations that make us feel whole and seen and heard.
Leonore and I have a lot to say about this and we are listening to people and hearing how tender it is, and the perspectives being shared are wonderful. This is not a simple issue—it is a serious systemic problem that is bred from many factors, including deep misogyny and sexism, dark shadows around sexuality and power, and a culture that really has no idea how to deal with any of that.
We did two community calls this week and we want to share one of them here if you want to listen in on what we discussed. Thank you to those of you who showed up in that conversation. They are both on my Facebook page too if you prefer to watch there.
A couple things we discussed: Healing this is two-pronged. One, we each have to do our own individual healing and empowerment work—this is work we have been doing for years and we know the power of it to completely change people’s lives and trajectories. It helps us to show up as powerful in all of our relationships and negotiations, to fully embody ourselves, and our sexual agency. This is powerful beyond measure and it’s up to each one of us to do. We welcome you to do some of that with us. We have figured out some things about it over all these years.
AND second, we need a serious system overhaul. There is collective healing that is needed and figuring out what that collective shift looks like and how to address these complex issues and create systemic change is where the rubber meets the asphalt. As individual actors, we can do only so much in a system stacked against us—a system set up to diminish us and put us at risk for predation and sexualization.
We cannot lose sight of the power of our own erotic selves, and our need for play, pleasure and the power of being present in our own bodily experience. We need this energy and our oppressors have tried to co-opt it, control it and take it in so many ways. We can’t let them do that. This is your core power and you standing in it and for it is essential to your well-being.
AND we need solidarity with each other so none of us have to ever feel alone in this. This is part of the power of #MeToo and why Tarana Burke started it ten years ago.
What does solidarity among and with women mean?
- It means we break through patterns of competition and silence.
- We join together in all movements to end oppression and we do not deny that oppression and we stand with women who face different oppressors.
- We stand against all violence.
- We stand for sexual agency, financial freedom, bodily autonomy, and total, unequivocal choice.
- We use our voices and our authority and we help each other.
- We need that solidarity now.
- Let’s keep discovering what it means to truly live as women, as sexual beings, as sovereign agents and to step into our own full, beautiful power.
- Let’s keep developing new models of collective power that serve us all, not an elite few who can and do abuse that power.
If we do not rise in this together, we face living lives where we are always under an oppressor’s thumb, where we suffer for our silence, where we feel isolated and alone (though we know we are not) and where we feel stuck. That’s not living, that’s surviving.
While we are also keeping the lens on our erotic truth, I want to invite you to take a quiz to see what your Erotic Blueprint Type is and how that can help you get your needs met more fully in your own relationships. I think Jaiya’s work on this is really brilliant because we are not all the same and we do not all respond erotically in the same way. This is part of the problem with mainstream, traditional approaches to desire and sexuality. So for a break from the pain and sadness you might be feeling, take a few minutes this weekend to take her quiz. We only benefit from understanding our erotic selves more. Next week I’ll tell you what my results are and we can compare notes. I want you to find out yours first!
We are loving you so hard and want to hear from you. Please hit reply and tell us, how are you doing? What’s moving in you? How are you taking care of yourself?
Deep Truth, Big Love,
Amy Jo + Leonore