The other side

Square

I haven’t written a blog post in a while so I thought I would while I have the energy and see what comes out. The surgery was a success! The journey to the surgery was filled with so many heart felt awarenesses and so much inner shifts and releases. I went from excitement to grief to a bit of overwhelm to feeling Divinely timed and aligned. I never once thought I was making a mistake, deep inside me I knew this was the next perfect step in my journey.

I mentioned in a video that in shamanic ceremony/journerying we often say “see you on the other side.” And here I am…The other side. The first few days post surgery were filled with uncomfortableness and lots of sleeping. I felt tight and restricted. My belly was now just one belly and it was swollen and sore. My muscles had been tightened, my skin removed, my fat removed and repositioned, as well as my body was a new shape. LOTS TO GET USED TO!!

Today is day 9 post surgery. I did a count down to surgery so it only feels right to have a bit of a counting of post-surgery days. I am so grateful for all the cards, flowers, visits, and food! Everyone has been so thoughtful and I appreciate it beyond words. And today, I’m home alone, no visits planned, and feeling better than I have felt since surgery. Here’s the winning points to note: I woke up and stretched in bed and it felt good. I was able to get out of bed without pain. I had energy where I might actually cook something today. And I felt like I could try going for a short walk. All of these things are BIG!

And to be fully honest, here’s what’s been the biggest challenge… RECEIVING. The limitation of movement – no bending over, no reaching high, no lifting and no standing up straight. And the tiredness…wowza! I’ve never been so tired. I sleep 10 hours a night and take 2-3 hour naps maybe twice a day. SO…I’ve had to learn to accept the hand to help me up, the sweet gestures of assisting me to sit down or get me a glass of water or help me remember to take my herbs and meds. And the sweet text messages and phone calls to see if I need anything. it’s all been such a blessing and has helped me to feel like receiving love, kindness, and care are natural and part of the process of living. It’s truly a gift and it’s changed me in a way that will inspire me to be more aware, more grateful, more available.

Here’s a few other insights into this “other side of the journey”:
Weirdest moment: standing in front of the kitchen counter and not realizing my belly was touching it because it was numb.
Scariest moment: Sunday night when I was alone for the first time after surgery. Would I be ok? And I was.
Funniest moment: it was with Tracey and I had to fake laugh since it hurt to belly laugh…not sure what it was about.

So here I am on day nine and hopeful that each day will continue to be better than the last.