We talk a lot about who we trust, what we trust and why we trust. Have you stopped and asked yourself what is trust? I looked it up the other day and it’s to believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Trust is also expressed as to “rely on, depend on, bank on, count on, be sure of.” As I sat with this definition, I realized that trust is not a given, that I usually make people prove to me that they can be trusted, and it can easily be broken.
I just reread that last sentence. I smiled a little at the truth of that thought and how it’s dissolving as I have grown this past year. My return to Minnesota helped me in listening to my inner wisdom and helped me integrate that bits and pieces of me that felt wrong, confused, and shamed. I’ll share more about that process in a different blog. All of that inner conflict created a belief that people were not to be trusted. My optimistic and ‘pollyanna’ way of living urged me to trust but underneath the facade, I was judging, collecting information, and analyzing the person and situation. Shocking, right?
The truth was I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t believe that I was reliable or had the ability to follow through on my desires. Outwardly, I’m a very goal oriented woman. Inwardly, I have more experiences that prove to me that I will not succeed. The biggest area of distrust is my body. I’m sure you can relate. How many times have I told myself that I would eat better, lose weight, or stop sugar? I’ve lost count!! But my inner critic hasn’t. It knows how many times and it uses it against me all the time.
So, the question now is:
how do we learn to trust ourselves and the world around us?
Here’s what I’d like to propose – a 3 step process. It’s not a perfect answer nor is it going to work for everyone but it’s a place to start. So I ask that you give it a try and let me know what how it works for you.
- Today is a new day!
Let the past go and let every moment be a new beginning. To support you in doing this I suggest you give yourself reminders. Set alarms on your phone. Write sticky notes “Today is a new day.” and affirm you have what it takes to keep your promises to yourself.
- Begin your day and end your day with compassion.
In the morning state: Today, I will honor my _______. I will follow through with my commitments. I will love myself more today than I did yesterday.
In the evening state: Today was a good day. I forgive myself for any moments where I was judgmental and unloving toward myself and others. I am loved just as I am. I let go and allow my sleep to clean the slate so I can start fresh when I wake!
- Lastly, Be Grateful!
Our inner critic and the parts of ourselves that do not trust need a new fuel. So give yourself more gratitude. Fill yourself with forgiveness. Breathe in love. Exhale the old toxic thoughts. Gratitude and Love are high-frequency fuel. It cleans impurities. It increases our ability to follow through. It shifts our thinking. Try it. Start a gratitude list. Admit to yourself what you love and how much you love it.
Trust yourself. Trust in love. Trust in the Divine Plan.
Trust your nudges. Trust your heart’s desire.
Even an animal, if you show genuine affection, gradually trust develops… If you always showing bad face and beating, how can you develop friendship?
Let’s all be genuinely affectionate with ourselves and others. I like the idea of building a friendship with ourselves.
Heart to heart,