Dear Sweet Blog Readers,
Today I’m going to share with you a personal journey of claiming my value and worth. Some of you might think this isn’t something I’ve had to work on but that couldn’t be farthest from the truth. I’ve always had doubt about my worth and whether someone recognized my value. It’s been a big thread in my tapestry of life.
Ever since I left my last relationship, I’ve struggled to regain my worth. So much of that relationship was testing me about when I would finally let go of being responsible for someone else and step into my worth. Knowing and living in the fullness of my gifts, my joys, and Divine Love.
I’ve discovered that joy is my inner flame that keeps me feeling hopeful, positive, and loving. As I’ve listened to my joy, it’s longing for an expression of pleasure, bliss, and ecstasy. This scared me. I wasn’t sure I could trust myself to know my boundaries, express my desires, and follow through.
This past weekend, I went on a retreat to learn ecstatic touch. I knew that I’d learn massage techniques and that I’d be put into experiences that tested my comfort level which I’d have to express my boundaries. The issue is I wasn’t sure what my boundaries were and wasn’t confident that I could be able to express them to a stranger – who was a man! Yet, I signed up, found the money, and went with an open heart to discover. It’s all about being WILLING!
The weekend was beautiful! I was able to connect with my inner wisdom, listen to my heart, and open up to soul possibilities. We did several exercises to ground and center, to connect with our inner energy centers, lots of deep breathing, and everything was a choice. No shoulds. No, I better… No, I have to’s. And when it came time to partner with a stranger, this person no longer felt like a stranger. Instead, he was an extension of me. He and I shared in the willingness to show up and try something new.
I looked into his eyes and saw an infinity that took my breath away. I could see myself in him and I could feel his energy match my energy and vice-a-versa. This human was no longer a stranger but a familiar energy that I joyfully participated in our exercises. My inner self rejoiced in how my joy was being expressed as pleasure (mine) and bliss!
After the weekend was over, I fully started to integrate the healing, the shift in energy, the release of old fears, and the acceptance of my worth. I no longer felt scared to be seen, to be held, to be ME!
This doubt that I’ve had since I was a little girl no longer feels like it’s haunting me. My inner critic no longer has access to this doubt because in this moment the doubt is not there. I’m staying in that willingness so that space is filled with trust, faith, and truth of being enough.
I could feel the layers and the bits and pieces of the old fall off me with each new experience from the weekend. I recognized that I took on my exboyfriend’s fears, lack of worth, and pain and these melted off me with such ease this weekend. I had done so much work already around identifying them and so much had already been released but this was the final sticky bits. And what returned was everything and more than I could imagine around who I have always been.
I AM. I am worthy. I now claim my worth and I command the Universe to bring me my worth in all areas of my life – physically, financially, spiritually – so I may live in the truth of my worth. (for ALL of US)
At the same time, I’ve been inspired to create sacred space for men to heal. My journey so far has been about creating sacred space and opportunities for women to heal, discover their light, claim their beauty and be empowered Goddesses and Priestesses walking and living in this world. And not that I’ve never worked with men, I have. I’ve always enjoyed it. And now, with this thread of worth and value being seen and rewoven, I’m ready to step into the next expression of my Divinity and the Divine Plan for my soul in this life.
I’ll be sharing more about this in the coming weeks and months. I’m excited to open up and receive the Divine guidance and create a process for men to be seen, accepted, and embraced. I am so aware of our culture and how it shames men, encourages them to disconnect, and constantly be the warrior. The time has come for ALL of US to heal and return to ourselves!